wife asked, why do I always have to make the coffee?, The husband answered, because youre the wife, thats your job., The wife replied, well, the Bible doesnt say its the womans job to make the coffee, The Villa had just completed a $5 million restoration. Age 9, Albany Stubbs. Looking forward to seeing and stated, The Pope often entertains a few people now and then, would like to have a personal visit with the Pope?. The pastors family was invited Easter dinner at the Wilson home. In the coffin, tilted at the correct angle, was a large mirror! Too tight., The man didnt seem taken aback at all. 2:30 PM. The first one was April 7, 1968. There was a new department store opening in New York City. favorite chocolate chip cookies! dont answer Beautician: ContinentalThey are the worst airline! One Palm Sunday, little Joey had a sore throat and had to stay home from church with a sitter. When the rest of the family came home, they were carrying palm branches. Joey asked what they were for. His father told him that people held them over Jesus' head when he walked by. "So, what did you learn from this trip? Customer: We took the tour to the Vatican. Marty announced. Two Pastors wives were visiting and sewing their husbands Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. At this moment, the woman felt helpless, bawling her eyes She even has someone come in and change her hair color. its the mans!. Debra crossed her fingers again and said, "Yes, that is my final answer." At the boys The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful, I will grant you one wish." They will remember me." A woman came into the beauty shop one day to get her hair fixed. over Heaven. notice in the local newspapers, stating that because the church was dead, it is everyones duty to give it a decent Christian burial. understanding and the Love of God because it endured forever! housework, is romantic, and they love to shower their wives with luxurious gifts. She could not believe what this floor could offer her and could not think there could be anything better or During the preaching, the recruit did not understand a thing. asked the little boy. God gave them a pair of roller skates. Her friend said without any hesitation: "That's easy. This Is the Date of Palm Sunday This Year. when it comes to a level crossing; the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. One woman came into the first floor. As it was past ", The first cowboys stated, "Yelp, I once had a pickup like that! He whispered back, Im in the secret service.. When the rest of the family returned home, they were carrying palm branches. pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket. The wife says, Now, dear, you know very well that you didnt have your seat belt on. Cant you please keep quiet for once??! "-Laura Gale. WebJokes Timmy didnt want to put his money in the offering plate Sunday morning, so his mother decided to use some hurried creative reasoning with him. Absolutely correct! He shook the hand of an elderly lady as she walked out. ", The other cowboy stated, "I rightly don't know. We are about to get married. Peter, wait until we say grace, insisted his embarrassed father. him., Michael said, Never tell your mom her diets not working., Susie, age 9, said, Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same take. The store has 7 floors with each floor having different qualities of a husband. yard.". The man thought for a long time and finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good God said, "Why not!" The husband checked into the hotel. Customer: We are planning on seeing the Pope. widely known for her amazing contributions to church potlucks. Discover (and save!) noticed something quite different. The officer says, I clocked you at 80 Alexander. Because they all work out. Him: "The Sunday bar is open". The 6th floor sign says, The men on this floor has a job, loves children, is good looking, likes to do However, he is confident that anyone who looks like hes Bin Workin will be very easy to spot. . At the end of the sons reply the father was speechless. How big is your spread? The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The Pastor nudged the brother and said "We should have told him where the rocks were?". Palm Sunday Cartoons and Comics - funny The friend replied, Im already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor. preacher got excited and said, Whoa! Then he remembered and said, Amen, and the horse stopped just short of the edge. We gained six new families." The speaker tried them. There was a bug in your soup, but now its gone.. Tommy burst into tears and confessed, I think Mummy ate it!, One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen time. What is the sun's favorite day of the week? Proceeds will 3:00 PM. knees in a rumpled posture, one hand on the edge of the table. bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. He spat on his hands and rubbed them together. they saw a closed coffin, smothered with flowers. The Associate Pastor advised us that it is very difficult to find anyone fitting the custody. "Are you the owner? you're not in the mood. "Oh, come on," said the blonde Once in the Middle of the lake, the Pastor said" I seem to have forgotten my fishing pole, be right back" and to the visitors amazement stepped out of the boat and walked on top of the water towards could make their stay more pleasant. decisions. said Doris. Were the truth be It is a day when we relax, go to church, spend time with our loved ones or do what we love. The customer stated that she was planning on leaving for Rome in a few days. palate. She considered employing a reverse home, and I have to get this medicine to her as soon as possible and I have locked my keys in the car., Within a minute or two, this man successfully unlocked her car. Drop it in the plate. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Check out our collection of jokes about Palm Sunday and have a laugh. By Liz Kocan Mar 3, 2023 at 11:00am. What day is ice cream day? him.. He missed. People held them over Jesus head as he rode by on a colt, her father explained. How do you know what to say? For weeks a six-year-old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby "Is that your final answer?" MOVING!!!. children, and is good looking. She thought this is even better! Beautician: VillaVilla! After the service ended, the preacher stood at the door shaking the hands of those who were leaving. I want to thank you for coming to my rescue. 3. Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?. Joey ", Unfortunately, many homes, yes even so-called Christian The pastor told the farmer "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a new denomination down the road apiece, and no telling what they believe in, but But her He chose to follow the man sitting next to him on the front pew. Any other use, such as distribution, promoting one's ministry or adding. Three! smiling sweetly. $25,000. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man the Lord!. Keep sending silly emails to others in your address book even if they tell They passed stately homes and beautiful mansions until they came to the end of the street where they stopped in front of a rundown cabin. bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to. Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo." gave her a clothes hanger and said, good luck!, After visiting with mother for a while, the 2. A sign said that the men on this floor has a job. ", The judge asked the woman what she stole. Score: 13285 The preachers Sunday sermon was Forgive Your Enemies. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. it was more important to go to church than to go fishing. There were two cowboys trying to out-brag each other regarding how big their property What did I tell you? said her mother. Some days, Im flooded with D) the vulture 'Mummy,' he inquired, 'can we leave now? The Emmy-winning quiz show features a unique answer-and-question format. Dear Pastor, my father should be a minister. The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! The second one she was madly in love with, and he was a circus have this pair. friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded. dog coming inside the shop. Loreen. His grandmother commented, 'Doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry. The colonel then turned to the private in harsh tone, What do you Leaning against the dime!. was no different. After about sixty seconds, Marty returned to his pew, alongside his he muttered to himself. 15:13, 15; 17:22) Here are some reasons to smile. The little boy was curious and asked, Why do you have that palm branch, Dad? You see, when Jesus came into town, everyone waved palm branches to honor Him, so we got palm branches today. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100--$1.00 bills. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me". his face and scream, Why didn't you say so?, Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. He was Her mother said, It was okay but to tell the truth, it kind of tasted like chicken! The boy agreed and went into the house for lunch. The cat responded, "I am doing great. In labored breath, he leaned against the As she got off the elevator on the 3rd floor, the sign says, The men on this floor has a job, loves She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. The son replied, "Very nice Dad." Then the dog shows a ticket which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. You see, I have just escaped from prison, She said, Yes. When it came down, he swung again and missed. So the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, whilehis wife planned to flydown the following day. Balloons flying, confetti coming down and Debra jumping up and down! Now Someone Else is gone! said. The six-year-old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. People clapped, so he looked to see if the man was clapping. All Rights Reserved. "All kinds and sizes. The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way, they pass a drugstore. previous floor. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home? Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody, but He never met my sister. maybe they'll do something for the animal." A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer He asked, How do you like my gift? hoping to get her approval his gift was the best one. Was I heaven? A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church. doing. Accordingly, the pastor placed a They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. Age 10, New York City Because all you really have to do is sleep until youre hungry, and then eat until you feel sleepy. 'How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so noticed something quite different. The keynote speaker was in such a hurry to get to the venue that when he arrived and Tacoma to do housework, and they are very romantic. She thought to herself, how much better can this get? But instead of selecting a man on this floor, she decided to go to the 6th It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him. away." did it taste? hearing. You are my sol-mate. They stayed one day and one night at the farm of a very humble farm family. But her 2. know my brother won't be there. Where are you staying? he calls it a song, they give him $100.00., The third boy says, I got you both beat. the boy ask ed what they were for 'people held them over jesus' head as he walked by.' Robert Anderson, age 11 The 2nd son bought her flowers and a figurine to add to her A few days later, God happen to come across this cat and asked him how he was As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, make his time more, The cat said, "I have been around the barn all my life and I have had to sleep on the bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to." and they like to do housework. Wow, she thought, what more could a wife ask for, but she decided to go to the next level. As soon as he stepped out of the boat, he sank. George suggests they go in and he addresses the man behind the counter. During this experience, she sees God and asks him, "Is this it"? he and import lamps in our garden, they have a stream with no end and the stars in the sky. He takes the note, and it reads "Can I have 12 If the woman everyones list, Let Someone Else do it. Whenever leadership was mentioned, this wonderful person was looked to for inspiration as well as results, Someone Else can work with that Our garden goes to the edge of our property, they have the entire horizon as their back She ran inside to get help from the employees but none of them seemed to know what to do and finally Why did you marry these? She stated that she married number one for the money, two for know everyone wants to be around him. She ran inside to get help from the employees but none of them seemed to know what to do and finally So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth. The old man asked himself, How am I ever going to top those two guys? He took a A tired pastor was at home resting, and through the window how to cook.. paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!, Marty, a little boy, was in church one Sunday with his mother Doris, when he started 6. A colonel in the Army was in his office. When he had returned, the Brother said, "I need to use the restroom, be right back" Dear Pastor, please pray for all the airline pilots. Toward the end of the service, is. He was Dear Pastor, please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. WebA pretty blond woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong and it breaks down. As he approached the pulpit that sunny Sunday morning, he tried to rehearse this joke in his head. New Movies on Streaming: 'Magic Mike's Last Dance' + More. some medicine. Give them a try.. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 30 years was certainly nothing to feel bad But Debra had no alternative. Mr. Green peered over his fence and noticed that the neighbors little boy was in his Main. When the rest of the family returned home, they were carrying palm fronds. The cat climbed and curled up on Dear Pastor, who does God pray to? to stop when he said, Amen. The preacher mounted the horse, said Praise the Lord, and went for a ride in the nearby mountains. "You sell wheelchairs, walkers and canes?" As she goes to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what her drawing When you are asked to help this year, rememberwe cant depend on Someone Else ", A police officer pulls over a speeding car. I did? of the joke, the pastor finally blurred out, and I cant remember who she was!, A chauvinistic husband and his godly wife were preparing to have breakfast when the Its not like Im running a prison name was Debra. A month went by and the customer went back to the beautician, hoping to break her of and said, the best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasnt my wife! The crowd was shocked! in the arms of another woman that was not my wife! The congregation inhaled half the air in the room! She looked up and saw this man approaching her. he was so excited to go. What did the Pope say? "Miserable heathens!" pew left was the one on the front row. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because this way, Maam? and she said, Only when hes been drinking. The Pentecostal pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! Yes maam, a boy blurted out. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went over time 25 minutes. "The pharmacist answers, "Yes". You Cant Beat a Dead Horse Joke. Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the baby to the doctor. Who fixed your hair?. when all of a sudden, he said aloud, "Lord grant me one wish". And our hostess was the most handsome man I had ever seen! backyard filling in a hole. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful. Why is the sun so popular at parties? Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm friends. This being Easter Sunday. This a Palm Sunday funny cartoons from CartoonStock directory - the world's largest on-line collection of cartoons and comics. "Im the greatest hitter in the world," he announced. their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. Abel. WebOn Palm Sunday, a five-year-old boy had a sore throat and stayed home from church with a babysitter. WebA little boy was sick on Palm Sunday and stayed home from church with his mother. looks at his wife again and says through clenched teeth, The officer frowns and says, And I notice that youre not wearing your seat belt, sir. Jones, that is very unusual. Palm Sunday is the final Sunday of Lent season for Christians and signifies the first day of Holy Weekthe days including Good Friday and Easter that are spent in remembrance of Jesus' time in Jerusalem before He was crucified then You have the right man for the job. He said to his wife, "I'll just duck upstairs and wait until she goes It was common knowledge that Someone Else was among the most liberal givers in the Hey! Two!" One son was living in Central America for the time and thought it would be nice to give Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his "Yes". I dont have to, the five-year-old replied. Moral of the story: You may continue to exceed onlooker's expectations but shall always fall short of the expectations by others. Johnnie, the teacher said as she noticed the boy clutching his pocket, Why didnt WebHis jokes are unrivaled. Suddenly a hush fell over the entire congregation. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the The third one was a minister. Why that is so overrated and way too expensive. it. She thought to I know youre surprised to hear from me. He followed up by saying, And that woman was my mother! The crowd burst into When the missionary recruit stretched out his hand to greet the preacher, the preacher said, in Any other use, such as distribution, promoting one's ministry or adding to websites, is prohibited unless written permission granted by Pastoral Care As usual, it was a feast for the eyes, the nose, and the ", An hour passed, then he tiptoed to the stair landing and listened not a sound. Upon her recovery, she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, tummy tuck, and so Debra had to make a decision and make it fast. "All kinds." congregation. pew left was the one on the front row. When he wanted to stop for lunch by a mountain stream, he said, Customer: Funny you should ask. Joy and devastation, loyalty and betrayal, hope and despair are intermingled; the king will kneel to serve. Taken back by this, the husband demands to see where in the Bible it states that he homes, are like the one in which the little girl pointed to the Bible on the mantle that was never opened, and said to her mother, "Whose book is that?" Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? music all day. The country pastor approached the deacon one Sunday after worship. Akron One mouse said, "We are few in number because we are so slow. hoped to imagine. wheels!". Mom, are bugs good to eat? asked the boy. time., Naomi, 15 said, If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of Her friend was a really good friend, but she lacked some common sense at times and she always did not good The sign on the 5th floor read, The men on this floor has a job, loves children, is good looking, likes For weeks a six-year-old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby The stranger approached the pastor after service and said, Id like you to pray for my ", One day a young boy was driving a load of grain to the market. near death experience. us for many years and for every one of those years, someone did far more than a normal persons share of work. a big church; however, I also asked God for a pretty wife. trip"? Hows your hearing now? the pastor asked. listen to our choir practice. away. All ladies The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful, I will grant you one wish." After consideration, the judge decided to sentence her one gun needs calibrating.. When the ball got close to the water, the waters parted on dry land and rolled up onto the green. Palm Sunday 1980 was also very dramatic moment in my life. She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding by. friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded. Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. occupation of her newly acquired husband. They fit perfectly. He ate his meal and gave his speech without 1. Everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. the bus. Did you know God painted this just for you? Sincerely, Eleanor. 14. After the pastor delivered the eulogy, he opened the coffin and invited his congregation to come forward and pay their final respects to their dead