Feeling Understood Even More Important Than Feeling Loved? Yes, I have said gay, and all of the above as you have stated. I am a beautiful person inside and out, and I do not deserve the way in which I have been treated. The next day, he shows up and starts cutting my grasswhy? When I would question him he would tell me that I was crazy and insane and thats why no one would ever want me. Narcissists are like aliens parasitic aliens. As time went on, I started, to have many insecurities, fears and doubts about his love for me and, my attitude and moods began to change as a result. 2. If the narcissist was making a final discard though, they could go no contact on you for months. Then he springs on me. We discussed it for a few days then the idea just was never brought up again. I am so thankful to know that I dont understand because that would make me like him. i hope now that i would see some of these traits earlier on in ppl, so I know how to handle myself around them.His violent rages, at home and at anywhere..were to just break me down, embarres me so I would feel even worse about myself and to give himself more authority over me.That is not love, thats abusehe wouldnt leave the marriage..i had to.When he started trying to contact me, to demand my returnhaving a catholic priest call and tell me my place was with my husband!That was his way of getting pity from ppl, his wife had left him..poor thing..hes such a good husband why would she do that? He destroyed me and my life he disliked my friends and family it was all about him. I was married to a narcissist for 10 years and we had three children together. I have read up alot about narcissist in the past and have tried to break the cycle for over two years but someone how he always manipulated his way back into our lives. Wants to control me. In the next 5 months, I was barely with her she dumped me every second day and went missing for days and weeks and rock back in my life like nothing happened. I was scared to cut his contact because of his accusations of me not wanting him to see her which is false despite everything I do wish he does step up for her however Ill still run game in a way to protect whats right. Good luck for the woman he is living with now. It has been hell and drove me to self harm and suicide attempts one if which I came home from hospital and busted him with teen pirn . This is the only thing that gets their juices flowing. So that was how i told her to show me the site were she read the reviews so that was how she showed me and i saw so many reviews about this great man how he helped a lot of people even the sick, without wasting anytime immediately i collected his contact and called him and told him what i want, he just laughed over it and told me not to worry that he will come back to me, so that was how i waited to see what will happen, so surprisingly i got a call from Larry. i agree but why does it say he ?, surely it should say they ? Within 3 years, he was back and encouraged me to sell my home and move in with him then he sold his house and I purchased a condo where we lived common law for 3 years until he again was tired of me. Mom has denied our family any time with him saying we can only see the baby during our sons time. I praise God for helping me get through all this pain and hardship and struggle, but we are following Him and He loves us so dearly for it, He wont let us fall if we just keep going. 5.5 Makes You Doubt Yourself. The first and most important is who initiated the breakup? I filed for divorce on 3/13. The desperate attempts are him just trying to fill the void inside him again. I worry about the amour of information online about narcissism. Its almost a year since Ive had those rings and we have never discussed the wedding. And oh yes . Im ruined, worthless, drug addicted, dont want to do anything except stare at the wall all day, I hate who Ive become Stop! It took me many times to get here. Four months before she was born he dumped me without a reason. He has been engaged or at least said to be 2x while we were engaged. I knew I was probably in for an emotional hit. This is another break-up game by a narcissist when the narcissist will make a big romantic gesture in order to win back their partner after the break-up. Narcissist He was always chatting with so called female friends. I live in those 2 rooms. Just recently he told me he left my son in the care of some lady he never met, didnt know her last name or address, and I found that it was one of his girlfriends. Strangely enough I still feel some love and fondness for her, despite her behaviour. All sociopaths are Narcissists but not all Narcissists are Sociopaths, i believe he is a Sociopath & Possibly s Psychopath seeing he gas no problem displaying his evil self. I know a lot of times that word is thrown around too much to describe men that really arent narcissistic. there were up and downs.. mostly it was hell. Had a fabulous first few months (although his drinking was a red flag early on). He never speaks he just stares. We we together for almost five years and married what would have been 3 years coming this April. He has only apologized one time for anything and everything else is my fault. I hope this helps. Its so hard when you still care so deeply the person & have to keep reminding yourself of what he is capable of so you can keep up the no contact. The trip is perfect. . Not its wrong. Breaking up is never easy. I offered us to go to counseling anything. If a Narcs hoovering is sure no compliment (in fact the opposite is true) though I understand where you are coming from and why you are hurt. Saying. You can't go there. The relationship started off amazing thought I was so lucky to have found this person. Then comes back. I couldnt help but send him my last message. Again she left me and I cried. before i knew what was happening my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me in just 2days and was so happy to have him back to me. I had to do exactly what he requested. He start to tell. The devil will trick us and trick us to get us to become little evil minions, but dont do it. Instead, they will search to find a narrative that suits their personal success story. I hope I can do this and stick to it. Ive cried for like 2 yrs straight for part of each day. Only a few texts. So .I must have healed enough to handle this better. I am glad that I found this post..im in the middle of getting out of the relationship..all your comments somehow ease my pain Thanks to the writer and everyone who made a comment..wish me luck guys!!! Theyre less likely to return to you if they find a consistent source of supply. If you stay in a relationship with a N for whatever reason, patience is definitely required. > I idealized you, and, you were not who I thoughtso, fuck youyou wasted my time! I made it a few weeks but ended up taking him back, nothing changed. A week. Eight years not an interest at all in dating or meeting another man I was already strong independent and in control and anice person Than. They actually reported less anxiety and sadness about the breakup. After one year of my marriage my husband behaviour became so strange and i dont really understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i love him so much that i never dreams of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure that my husband get back to me but all to no avail, i cry and cry seeking for help, i discussed it with my best friend laura and she promise to help me. I have not heard from him. Possibly. The only good that came out of my going back was that I needed to find myself that low that I could pull myself up and cut him off for good with no remorse. . I had been dating (not sleeping with) several guys, just playing the field. zombies. He texted me he had a meltdown of his mind of me, I was his goddess and he was stupid, he was loved and happy with me, we were amazing together and we look so great together. I also knew I needed to learn who I was. His mama is also a pos. This is another red flag if you are dealing with or dating a narcissist. Why is it covered ! The last time he hit me was 12/12. I told her I thought she was a narcissist after all of the behavior and reading it up online and talking to friends that are psych majors. But as soon as he left, the text messages began then the phone calls that night. I even heard that he exploded, because someone said something to him, about how he had treated me terribly! Yes, true. I know you can do it! They are emotional suckers and dont give a damn about anyone but themselves. His loss, he doesnt deserve me anymore! I am 24 and have recently been a victim of a 36 year old narcissist. Such doubt is rarely "on display, though to the astute observer in various situations its clearly betrayed. Furthermore, Im quite sure he did not mean what he said, although convincing Im sure, he was so jelous (for lack of a better word) of your abilities that he HAD to denegrate, devalue even destroy you to maintain his fictitious imageof his own perfection. Thankyou for everyones comments i have been the a really difficult time i met a man i loved he put me threw hell i never from one day till the next what he was going to do or say he played me for a fool.. To all of you women who have been the official girl friend/wife and who maybe discovers an affair or two: BEWARE! Given how their defense systems drive their personality, even in such crises, theyre unable to sustain any (purely pragmatic) shift in behavior. Thats my advice. Of course not, they believe EVERYONE should bring a child into this world having the throw it up against a wall, see if it will stick mentality. I know getting a new girlfriend is probably complicating the matter but my situation is not making the new girlfriend happy either. Its as though you took the words right out of my mouth. I told my sister about my current condition and told me about doctor chamberc, I contacted him for the return of my husband back to me, he told me that my husband has been taken by another woman, that the Wife spelled him out, thats why he hates me and wants us to get a divorce. Why am I almost certain, that he will unblock me at some point and come back? He was a brilliant liar and great actor. She sounds like a compassionate woman with a bit of vulnerability. Its safe to say that the longer youre in a relationship with a narcissist, the longer youll have to wonder will the narcissist come back after dumping you?. We are constantly off and on, I always go back. The omly way to control my situation definitely is NO CONTACT. I already have one of those! And he became very angry. Its the latter part of that statement that really matters to the narcissist though; the feeling diminishes the longer youre in a relationship with them. I told him that I wasnt interested in falling in love, just wanted to date. I was a widow and he strolled into my life manipulating me for nearly a year. But God has been my strength and my guide as well as my sanity. To anyone suffering this evil, leave and leave now. Youre once again the shiny source of narcissistic supply, ready to be idealized, devalued, and discarded all over again. Every action could be labeled narcissistic. Didnt try to even get me back. I was alone in another country. You need to leave. Always saying I was sexy, too shallow for me. 4. But since its been all about him. I bought things for him, spent all my time with him, and allowed my life to revolve around him. He told me what to do to get my husband back and i did, he said after 2days my husband will come back to me and start begging, and it really happen as he said, i was very surprise,this is so amazing. courageous indeed . I got married at 18 and dealt with his criminality infidelity and lies. Before I went to bed every night I, would send him love, light, and all the warmth I could muster, although, sometimes it was very difficult. Dating a narcissist can really hurt your self-esteem. They most often come back after ending the relationship if there is still enough supply for them. He would then treat me like a dog with no tolerance, no compassion or help with anything. I called him and asked did we have sex last night and his reply was, Did we have sex? Never argue. I do not hear from him for. He always got what he wanted from any beauty that capture his eye. Contact him via email chamberc564@yahoo.com (1) want your ex back. Updated. It went on for 3 weeks until the final incident was when he had lied to a member of the family and accused me of sleeping with another family member who happened to be his father and a minister. I asked for his help and cried many nights. My girlfriend says she has had enough and wants to leave me. Do not give in he, will repeat the same old behavior just to finish what he started. He seemed to become enraged more and tried other ways to berate me. 9 Signs A Narcissist Is Finished With You - Live Bold and Bloom Theyre comfortable in your toxic relationship, so its always easier to come back rather than find someone new. Ive read a lot on narcissism since I got involved with this man & I can say from personal experience, this seems to be exactly how they are. I agree to go to the fair with him while Im there he says. And now this ?! At the same time that theyre super-critical of others (to regularly remind themselves of their superiority), their egos are so frail that when someone attacks their words or actions they can fly into what Ive alluded to as narcissistic rage. As I explain in The Narcissists Dilemma: They Can Dish It Out, But : "Although narcissists dont (or wont) show it, all perceived criticism feels gravely threatening to them. Its much worse than what I have said. Punches me breaking my nose spits in my face I scream my nose is broke he then starts to hit me more saying. Narcissists turn on the charm or wrench sympathy from your heart as you break up with them. I realised over a year ago that the person I was with has N behaviour. whilst there i was cook ncleaner and mother to his other two kids. So if you're ending a relationship with a narcissist, you may find them either especially nonchalant about the breakup or especially upset. During the course of the relationship they were always looking for admiration, praise & complement like all the time! He was there grooming some one else. Especially when youve just recently left a Narcissistic partner. So I just deal with the light. she is a total liar and a fraud. And still want him but he left me because he used all He could from me. I moved 400 miles away..He cant bother me because he cant contact me ..So yes no contact and not letting them know where you are is the only way to be safe from a Narcissist person. Do t see him as tempting as it can be! doesnt matter of the child seems fine if your concern do it! A narcissist ends the relationship, you don't. If a relationship with a narcissist ends easily, it's because they want it over. This is consistent with the tendency for narcissists to be especially hostile when they're rejected. HE could never possibly be YOU though, because YOU were never real, and what is REAL that is so FAKE, is something I would not wish upon anyone. I AM SO DESPRATE IN NEED OF HELP TO COME OVER ALL I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I CANT ANYMORE, Great post. But the arguing would still continue & then it would be me to just back down then they would come back they had me always questioning myself during the course of the arguments they would change there reasons as to why we were arguing half a dozen time was far from consistant & I couldnt follow what was really going on complete head game!!! (3) To be promoted in your office (4) Do you want a child. How do people become such monsters in the first place .. Also my guy only wanted physical intimacy and avoided emotional intimacy like a plague. Well after I attempted to expose him, he became quite abusive verbally. That is why I put up with it I was the emphasis and he knew it from the start. Thought fate had stepped in! I was still be blamed, imagine..how it was right after the split up! I was with a Narcissist who had several addictions..We dated few weeks, lived together almot 3 months..He became more physically abusive after I broke up and tried to avoid him..I felt stalked by him through his lies and he turned others against me, he harassed me with text,voicemail and emails.Had to block him and many people knows on a social network..I found out later, I was not the only woman he did this to. Wouldt answer texts. The neighbour immediately notified the property owner of my situation and he in turn contacted my landlord & landlady. Oh my!!! . He never went back (so he says; I guess he thought it was okay for him but not for the wife to cheat). Having learned earlier not to trust anyonethe outcome of the emotional pain inflicted on them by insufficiently caring, non-approving parentsthey refuse to accept the risks associated with allowing another to get really close to them. I read a great article that taked about no reaction if no contact was not an option, After 10 years relationship with my boyfriend, he changed suddenly and stopped contacting me regularly, he would come up with excuses of not seeing me all the time. I discovered that he was on dating sites. I had not told my daughter that we broke up, she heard about if from my son who lives with her. They usually wont budge. WHen he was caring and loving he was amazing but I felt like there was a deficit of my needs over time. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. Well he never saw our son until he was 8 months old. I am now 38 I met him when I was 26 he was 48 he used me I allowed this now I feel like running him over he is 60 a crack head and I was as well. And I did! He kept telling me sign my rights away completely.. but he wont care for his son. I threw him out! Tried to be ridiculously pragmatic about me moving out and diving up the things ( didnt want to discuss anything about the relationship, just bills, details). Like how could someone do someone who had great intentions so badly??? he certainly doesnt take a break-up normal, no..it has to be something done about it..she has to pay for it! If you truly wanted to fight for you relationship you do it and try your everything to save it, to fix it, to make the other feel good, you show you mean what you say and take responsibility too. Narcissist Break up Games: Reasons, Types & What to Do That was a great post. What he said is insignificant (as you know, he is NOT a credible source to judge ANYONE, therefore his opinion does not matter). Its either. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I had enough . Separated, living in different residences for over 3 years. Folks, whether men or women, these people (?) Try to remain calm and assertive. He was very generous financially; Id just started working at the truck stop the day before I met the ex and was just coming off unemployment benefits and really struggling. There arent enough demons in hell to take me back to that hole I literally had to be drug out of. He wasnt raised in a normal fam. I will try to give you advice on a few fronts but you have to be in the mindset that only you can pull yourself out of this mess, okay? 10 Reasons Why Girls Want To Stay Friends After a Breakup, 8 Subtle Ways Guys Hint They Like You Without Saying It, 22 Painful Signs Hes Not Into You (Anymore). A show of power is designed to force you into a position of subservience you will ask for forgiveness, heap praise upon them, and provide a source of supply. And then I feel sad. I know she is not the nicest person, but shes making my departure more painful than having an amputation of a limb. father behaviour towards you Infront of child if you feel unsafe evident this for u and your child its not easy and he will use every dirty trick Ur goal is to get HIS behaviour and why he shouldnt care 4 child 4time or shared. He just opened his wallet and handed me $500 to go pay my bill, no questions asked. I have been so unbelievably hurt at how LITTLE this breakup has affected him. Compared to typical textbook narcissists, the coverts are even scarier because they have even less empathy, feel more entitled, and are even more passive-aggressive. From these Predators! I have read all of these comments and am learning a lot of how to deal with a N. As a grandmother, my concerns are primarily focused on our 8 month old grandson. I am hurting .. everyone tells me that she is not good for me and I can see it too but she made me feel so special she may have NPD but I truly loved her .. okay i understand, because when the woman visit Jonapher is just normal conversation nothing serious. Half the time,its the women who are the narcs. So I told him not to worry, I will schedule an abortion. Then he asked to come see me. Narcissistic Rage: This Is What Happens When You 'Discard' An Abusive For those of you who keep falling back into their clutches, please keep reading on line.